Relationship requires two people who are willing to make each other as happy as they could possibly be. However, it’s not always what happens in reality. Sometimes one person gives too much while the other partner is not appreciating what the other person has already done.
Here is what happened when you’re the only one who is willing to make this relationship work.
His ignorance bothers you – a lot more than you expect. And it happens a little more often than how it was in the beginning. You literally tell him everything, from how many assignments that you should complete for the next three weeks, how great your presentation was this morning, how much you desire to go traveling in summer, and how much you miss your best friend. You never hear the support or words of encouragement that you need. Because sometimes, people just need to hear it from the person whom they love most. You never hear any constructive comments. When you are in doubt or fear about something, this person never tries to calm you down and they never says how much they believe in you. No. All you get is a simple OK with an emoji in the end.
He is not only physically distant with you, but he is also emotionally unavailable. The idea of sharing his personal thoughts and feelings to you makes him uncomfortable. You never know what he exactly plans – not even about his life – but for a simple thing like what he plans for this weekend. You think he probably needs some “me-time”, away from you. Fine. Everybody needs that once in a while. But suddenly a text comes up and he says he will go for a short trip with his friends. A group of friends that you never really meet before. Because he just never engaged you in this kind of thing. And no. He didn’t invite you.
The perception of love seems really complicated for him. For him, love is an unsolved mystery in the future. Something that he couldn’t clearly describe, because he said he never experience quite the same thing. He said “it isn’t love, if it doesn’t work out in the end”. And he never makes it work with somebody else. Yet. So when you told him the L word, he couldn’t look at you in the eyes and he didn’t tell you back the same thing. You thought you will be the one who can change his mind about what love is. Apparently the more frequent you tell him how you feel, the colder he becomes about love. So that’s why you stop telling him that.
You are so busy decoding his mind. On why he never initiates text or phone call anymore. You are counting the days since the last good date with him. Just out of sudden, this person stops doing everything that he was eager to do before. But he always brushes it off easily every time you ask if something’s wrong. You tried a few attempts to contact him first. And secretly hope things will get back to normal. But it’s not. He shows that talking to you is not that important for him to do. Despite the difficult circumstances, you still want to hear his voice. But this person not even bothered to try to contact you first. Talking to you and spending time with you don’t seem interesting for him anymore. The harder you try to keep him close, the more obvious how he blocks you out from his life.
After quite some time, you finally realized that this person is not worthy of your love and attention. You realized that you cannot change people, no matter how hard you try. You understand that this person is not a bad guy, but he is just not the guy for you. Maybe he is also not happy by what you did. Maybe he is just not ready for some big things that you have offered him. And it’s nobody’s fault.
It’s time to move on.
One day, you will find someone who will not only be your partner, but that person will also be your best friend. You can share every details of your thoughts, every goal and dreams, and how much you love what you are doing, and that person will be there for you to listen, to celebrate, and to support you when you are not sure about what life might give you. This person will suddenly text you just to let you know how much they think about you. You know each other too well so that you can completely understand what the other person is thinking about. You will feel content about the present and confident about your future as a couple. You will feel so much joy and love from that relationship that there would be no space for anxiety or fear anymore. You will find someone who cares about you just as much as you care about them.
With this person, love is so effortlessly simple, because the two of you sincerely wants to make each other’s happy. There would be no mystery to solved. There would be nothing to decode. Instead of spending endless time wondering what’s going wrong, you will spend most of the times by cherishing the laughter and the lovely quality-time that you will both share together.
And with this person, you will stop feeling lonely.
Because being with you, is what makes him genuinely happy.